cielja@askcielja.com

Norman, OK USA

THE NEW CHILDREN

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THE NEW CHILDREN

 

In the 24 years that I work with parents I have seen a shift in how parents described the behavior/traits of their children.

Were most babies still satisfied laying on their back watching the things going on around them in the first years, more and more parents were telling me that their young baby seemed frustrated, wanting to move around, sitting up early, walking early or, on the contrary, were very ‘late’ and rather wanting to speak was earlier than ‘the norm’.

Toddlers were becoming more and more high in energy, wild, enthusiastic, wanting to have, do and know everything, unstoppable. As my own children portrayed these characteristics as well, I considered this as ‘evolutionary’. We just had to work as parents to ‘catch up’ with them!

 

But there were also the parents telling me their 3-7 year olds had stories of other lives, other planets, other beings. Children who said they had come to bring peace in the world, children who wanted to save animals, plants, children who oppose authoritarian systems. The stories came from parents of all walks of life, with or without television/games. My take on how to communicate with these children was no different than for parents with ‘average’ children. Just even more ‘Gordon’ as I found it the most open communication model.

 

INDIGO, CRYSTAL, RAINBOW, STAR-CHILD

Then some 10 years later I heard the term Indigo child and soon after that Crystal and Rainbow and specific traits that were in common seemed to make sense. I studied the books about it.

I started interviewing children and was amazed by their wisdom. Yes I could even recognize if some of these children were Indigo, Crystal or Rainbow. But I also found that children are never asked! They are never taken seriously. So I thought, it may even be just us, the adults, who finally are getting ‘wiser’ in taking  children seriously. Who-ever the child is, with whatever mission they have come to earth. We finally hear them, see them for who they are!

 

SPIRITED CHILD

Today  ‘spirited child’ is a common term. It indicates a combination of high energy, wanting to do things beyond their age, opposing authoritarian approaches, free-spirited, spiritual and artistic.

 

What odds are these days against all children, is that families live mostly scattered and at their own, not as a community. The housing is ‘everybody for themselves’.  Things are far away, so kids have to be packed at least an hour a day in the car. The hassle in their young lives is tremendous. Family life is undermined by financial stress.  It is scary to let children play in the streets, let them go places at their own. When and where can they be connected with nature and outside, with each other, unlimited, as long as their beings need to?

Regular school-stress can be a heavy toll. Never was there such a high pressure on result and were the children so restricted. When can the child just ‘be’…?

The pollution in air and food is huge, the adult world as example seems full of stress, aggression, war, talking bad about others. Not much to look forward to.

So is the ‘spirited’ behavior not also a reaction to the way we are living?

 

NEW CHILDREN

Labeling can mean stress on the child (‘I just want to be normal’, as I have heard them say) Therefore I prefer to talk about New Children, which by now are most of the children(! )

So why still ‘indicating’ them?

Because the new humans come different equipped on earth than a generation before, and all in their own way. They seem to know there is an urgency for a change on all levels in how we operate, communicate and live together on this planet earth.  The urgency shows in the high energy and ‘hunger’ to figure out stuff, to express themselves.  Lately I see a lot of musical talented children. In the drama classes I teach to children I noticed that the 5-9 year olds have a preference to use a certain ‘Awe’and ‘R’ in their speech, adding these to the language. A new phenomenon that is worth being in wonder about.

They portray their energies artistic, outgoing, challenging on one hand and on the other hand, high sensitivity for environment and relationships, quickly out of balance, need for personal attention.

 

So before we wonder ‘what’s wrong with my child’, we have to look at the bigger picture. It can lead us to take more action in the choices we are making, thus helping the child to guide their immense energy to the benefit of them and the whole. It is not seldom that New Children have so much perseverance that they actually get changes done. But they do need our support.

 

On the other hand we see a tremendous increase of children diagnosed with autism and other medical conditions.

Hardly any family is spared from some member having allergies, and a whole spectrum of diseases that are new on a wide scale is taking a toll on many families.

This can hit any child.

 

So finally you could say that Indigo, Crystal, Rainbow, Spirited, or Medical diagnosed labeling doesn’t matter because there is hardly anything as a ‘normal’ child any more. The ‘norm’ has such a wide spectrum that we have to look at each child and situation individually. Even labels seem to be too broad as there is so much diversity.

As much as most children want to be ‘normal’, a parent wants to be ‘normal’ and be a well accepted/good parent in the eyes of themselves and of society.

A parent may want to let go of this! As much as there are new children, there are more and more new parents.

 

A parent who is connected with their child knows how special their child is. It is important to acknowledge the individual, specific needs/expressions of a child. To take the child seriously in all they express; whether you have heard of it before or not; whether you think it is out of line or not; not letting fear for their future take you too soon to a one time diagnosis. Every hint a child gives is a chance for a parent to go on a quest and wonder what they themselves can figure out and contribute.

Of course it is great for a parent to find other parents on a searching journey. It encourages them to stay open minded to their child and support the child in being who they are, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, here and now, and thus experiencing the highest satisfaction of being a parent of a magnificent child-being, despite all the challenges of the modern life.